Laurynomaly

I am not a fan of the television show, but when my girlfriends outvoted me two to one on seeing the midnight showing, I just had to check out what the craze was all about. Often I caught the promos for the series on cable TV (even more frequently when the show was syndicated), flipped through the promo ads in women’s magazines, heard my girlfriends rant and rave about it, and even took the “Which Sex and the City Character Are You?” quiz on the Internet. Still, the series still did not strike an interest with me. After all I am a young, geeky mother, journalist, and college student. What can I relate to in the sex lives of older women? Sure, my friends and I go out for lunch, have a drink, and discuss our adventurous, dramatic, and all-too-often comedic sex lives and firmly believe—like most girlfriends post-Sex-and-the-City-Era—that we deserve a television series about our lives. I remained a skeptic about the success of the series and, therefore, the movie, certainly wondering how it could generate such a cult following of women between the ages of 21-60.

The wonderful thing about this movie is that you do not have to be a religious fan of the Sex and The City television series to enjoy this movie. In its core, the movie is about one important element that all women thrive on (not oral sex,) friendship. Though Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha, and Carrie are in different stages of relationships, they are bound together by their love for fashion, zest for life, and the chemistry that comes with many years of camaraderie. Through their laughter, joy, tears, and companionship, we celebrate the comfort we enjoy in knowing that our girlfriends will be here for us through anything.

Despite this fun fantasy of fashion and friendship, I found the portrayal of feminist values foul. Carrie Bradshaw and her posse are written to relate to women in the real world and are often seen as strong feminist icons, yet—in this movie—each woman (with the exception of Samantha) is defined by the man she is in a relationship with. Gone are the times of venerated attitudes of strength like personal happiness, emotional (physical and financial) health, inner beauty, and independence. Instead, it’s about finding and keeping a man, expensive clothes, fashion, and plastic surgery. Is this honestly about what feminism is about today?

Carrie Bradshaw makes little sense to me. She endures a long relationship involving several years and makes a conscious decision to move in with Big, but acts as if she does not expect a higher level of commitment or the job description of “girlfriend” to change. She puts herself in this terrible delusion that nothing about their relationship should or will change and makes herself believe that moving in is not a big deal. She furthers her delusion by deciding to get married in an off-brand suit. Carrie Bradshaw lives for fashion and expensive clothes. The fact that her first thought would be to forego a huge part of what makes her Carrie Bradshaw on the day that women supposedly spend their entire childhood dreaming of and typically proclaim themselves the most strikes me as appalling. Eventually, she receives a gift that completely opens her eyes up to what society builds up a wedding to be and goes all out, showing again that she has mixed feelings about what marriage means and has been downplaying just how much this means to her in an effort to keep the big change from happening. It’s not about the expensive clothes or fairy tale wedding that I am upset about—it’s that she doesn’t stay true to herself in even a remote sense and she isn’t finding the middle ground for what works for her and the man she is marrying—she simply loses herself to childishness. She loses herself to her delusions and to an idealist wedding dream that—in her 40 years of age—reduces her to adolescence.

The writers really gave perky Charlotte a mundane story as she got little screen time away from her husband and child. I do admire Charlotte for finally finding happiness in settling down with a family and I rejoiced in every bit of her story. She was the only one of the girls that was fortunate enough for everything to go her way. If only life could be so easy.

Miranda’s story can actually somewhat relate to some real women in the world. She’s a career-focused woman trying to balance her job, her marriage, and her child. This role—like the concept behind all the characters themselves—surmises a very narrow, stereotypical idea that society has of women, namely busy working mothers. I have seen firsthand how balancing career and family life can really jeopardize marriages, but at the same time, I cannot sympathize with Miranda for being completely unfair to her husband. The film follows through by acknowledging her unfairness and I was pleased to see that at least one of the stories in this movie had a complete resolution.

The only story that struck me as unique was Samantha’s. She is my favorite character because she is written as a strong character—not just because of her renowned sexual freedom or her lack of emotional ties to it—but simply because of her perspective on life. Play it smart. Stay true to yourself. Do what makes you happy because you really only have one shot at life.

I really hope that the ideals and concepts in this movie are not what feminism has evolved to today. The career, the sexual freedom, and the expensive clothes mean nothing if a woman easily and willing trades herself for a relationship.

If you see it, leave the man at home. This one is for the ladies.